Alright, freaking out.
I feel really dumb to do it, but I am suddenly very afraid. I said that I am going without expectations, but in my heart of hearts I am.
I am afraid that I am not a strong enough person, that I don't know myself enough to get through this. I'm worried that I will be too concerned about some unspoken competition to make deep connections with people. What if I don't make any friends? What if no one loves me? How do I stay true to myself? What if it's not what I expect? What if it turns out to be a terrible experience?
I can be so incredibly self-concious sometimes...I'm worried. I need your prayers friends, I need to figure something out before I go. I hope that I figure something out.
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