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See you there!  

What Egypt is Teaching me

With every passing day here, I feel the lessons growing and teaching me. Though they are truly countless, I wanted to share them with you guys, or a few huge ones. Some of these have really humbled me, or even lead to a total paradigm shift. Some of them I am still processing. But nonetheless, there is still growing to happen here in Egypt and it is a beautiful journey. So without further ado….

1. Family matters

I had a traditional academic knowledge of the East being more collective in its mind-set. I knew that this most likely meant people here would be more group-oriented and that they would consult the family in regards to their lives and decisions more frequently. And trust me, it's no generalization, group-orientation is a fact of life here. I noticed this family-oriented collectivism in Egypt right away, it's obvious. Feasts and holidays are spent with family. It is not embarrassing at all to pick up a call from your mom in public. Families will own whole buildings together and all live on different floors. Lunch (or really dinner to my meal timetable) is best served every day with a horde of family members surrounding you. One should even expect a constant stream of visiting family when sick. At first, to me, this seemed suffocating. But once I opened my eyes a little more I had to face the ignorance and the shocking amount of individualism I possessed which made me think that being this close to family was a bad thing.

In America, we work hard. But we work hard for ourselves. Here, we work hard for everyone. The beauty this is the safety net that is built underneath everyone in the end. When you hit a rough patch, don't worry, there are 30 aunts, uncles and cousins who have your back. So yes, maybe you will never have a moment of peace, but this is your blood and the roots go deep. Egypt has taught me to appreciate the values of family more. To invite them more into my life and love them better. To let go of my own selfishness and join the team. Because that was really what my own individualism actually amounted to; it was a justification to be selfish and it excluded me from those that love me most.

All the babies being cuddled....adorable.

2. Don't give up on your dreams

People here dream, but unlike where I come from, their dreams aren't to become famous or have 4 BMWs. Their dreams are things like simply getting married or owning ANY car (even a 1980s Trabant). Not that one dream is better than the other, it just goes to show how different the societies that I exist between varying when it comes to what they value in life. And what I think is something uniquely Egyptian is the way that Egyptians fight for what they dream. There are millions of people here; all over-qualified, highly educated, and over ambitious. With that much competition it’s hard just to even find a job. But Egyptians dream big, work hard and do not get discouraged. I often find myself giving up on things if it doesn't work out the first time. But I am being inspired by Egyptians. I am learning that if one path doesn't work out, don't give up, try a different route and keep the destination in mind. 

And the important lesson that I am learning that coincides with fighting for your dreams is to make it a habit. The daily grind here is exhausting, so I find it easy to slip into more negative habits, like saying I will do it tomorrow or I have more important things to do than that right now. But the more you say things like that, the further anyway you get from your goal. You have to make it a habit every day to go one step forward. The people who fight for what they dream everyday don’t sleep-in or wait until tomorrow.

3. Defend yourself, no one else will

This place is tough, I've said it many times. But the people here are tougher. If it's not defending their right to a fair election, it's defending their right to have bread on the table every day. I've learned here that in order to get my rights, I shouldn't just wait and expect someone to serve me. In the US, I was privileged enough to speak the language, I knew the system and I knew where to go to find the resources I needed. And I think back to all the refugees I used to serve, the international students I ambassador-ed; not knowing these parts of the society you live in feels scary and it is hard. I have so much respect for how strong displaced people are now knowing that this is how it feels. But this lesson awakens something inside you tells you to suck it up and figure it out. And at the beginning of my life in Egypt I might have been to shell-shocked to realize that I needed to defend myself, to fight for my rights. But now I have to ask, I have to be knowledgeable, and I have to fight. I am learning to stand up and speak up for myself. But balancing all of this the while holding a politeness and generosity for others is the challenge I am trying to perfect.

I am so thankful for this lesson by the way, this is not something that I should have only learned in Egypt. This is something about human rights, and as I learn this, I realize how important it is to teach others this and support this in my daily life.

4. Traditions have value

Egypt has a culture and society that has existed for 7,000 years. I come from a country with a history just shy of about 250 years. The traditions I am encountering here go back for centuries. And when I pause to take that idea in, it still takes my breath away. Some of these traditions seem silly- like having to say "issssshh" when trying to shoo flies out of the kitchen. Or screaming a hair-raising yelp when pouring garlic into morheya (a delicious herb/garlic soup). Others are deep and meaningful like only kissing the right hand of your parents because they have given you life and are the only ones that deserve that honor. And others are downright hard for me to believe, like making a newly married couple stay in their apartment 24/7 for a month and they can NEVER leave! No matter how I try to think about it, the more it sounds like prison to me.

But Egypt has taught me the beauty in having deep and old traditions. Even if some feel pointless, or they seem strange, there is this legacy and story being passed on. And all these traditions are life to Egyptians, this is the way that I am connecting myself to them and learning of them. It is something beautiful and I should learn to keep even in my own culture and life.

Religion starts early here too.

5. Respect 

This is especially respect for your elders. I often forget how necessary it is to approach people with respect. Here, this is all you can do. People hold respect and dignity in such high regards  But this in turn means they respect you. Here, when you welcome some one into your home, you better make them tea and sit with them for hours. I am learning to be patient with how I respect people. Egypt is teaching me to really act it out. To stand up for that old woman on the metro and offer my seat. To say "Salam Alaikom" when I get into that bus. To carry that bag up the stairs for that woman who has too many. And to always mind those around me. Not everyone does that here, so people do not have respect for others. But I am constantly reminded of the extreme value I find in a person that walks with respect.  

6. Let God in

Allah is written everywhere here. The constant reminders of God surround you in speech, in sight, in the buildings and even in the food. And this is absolutely beautiful. In America, there are people that are so proud of the fact it is a religious country. But those people need to come to a Muslim country to truly understand how it feels to have God in every thread of what you do. Now, I understand that this might not be for everyone. It wasn’t necessarily how I would have liked to have my God served up, my separation of religion and state flags were on high alert at the beginning. But when I finally opened myself up to it, and man, it is so powerful to find God everywhere. It is a quiet reminder, a gentle friend by your side. 

7. Boundaries are necessarily

Once upon a time I was the type of person that was so afraid of hurting others that I would never say no to any request. It was always yes, even if it was a begrudging yes. But in Egypt, that type of behavior can get you in serious trouble. And unfortunately I learned this the hard way. Saying yes one time to a guy that happened to bump into me after a late night facilitation session turned into months of constant calls, stalking on my Facebook, endless messages. And finally, now that he is finally gone for good, I realized that it is all simply because I would not draw lines. But if I had said no, not given him my number, then none of what followed would have followed. To be honest, to this day I am still afraid of blocking people or experiences out of my life. Afraid of saying no too many times and losing the chance to meet wonderful people. But, not everyone in the world is a wonderful person all the time. And I am learning that it is ok to protect myself. It is ok to say no, in fact, it is necessary.

8. Be yourself boldly

Before I left to Egypt I was given a little journal from the community I was leaving. On this little journal in scrawled out in beautiful swirls and curls are the words: “Be You, Bravely”. This little journal has come to mean a lot to mean, because not only is it a reminder of where I came from and the people I love back home, it is a message to hold for myself in the future. A message I am still trying to learn to this day.

Sometimes it feels daunting to be yourself in a society where you have green eyes, pale skin and only speak English. Where no matter what you do you are going to stick out as if you were painted purple. But I am discovering that when you lose your original culture and how well it protected you; you come to find some interesting fundamentals about yourself.  When I left “the land of pale skin and blue eyes” and went to “the land of brown eyes and olive skin”, I had a lot of trouble knowing what to do with who I was before. How do you know what is necessary in your person or what are things you did because it was a part of your previous culture? For example: loving people. For a while here I felt absolutely lost because I was not sure how to love people in the ways I previously had known. Baking cookies or writing little letters didn’t seem to feel right. But what I realized despite this; is that it is absolutely second nature for me to try to remind people how much I love them. All I had to do is realize the ways that this message is translated to Egyptians. But I didn’t have to change the original message. But this point, the desire to show people I love and appreciate them, is something I cannot help.

But once you figure out the difference between what is the core of your person and the things you did before because of your previous culture, you get the unique opportunity to really discover yourself. And it is fun to see how you apply your core self to a new culture.

9. Go with the flow

Egypt feels like a 24/7 circus at times. I find myself saying many things like, "I do not think they should put that many boxes on that truck..." or "How many people do they think can fit on one microbus?" or “I don’t think they should that, it’s been out of the fridge for 3 days...” or "Did that woman just cut the whole line?" And I have realized that often when I feel like I do not get Egypt or it feels absolutely nuts, it’s my perspective that needs a shift. Having grown up in a pretty organized society it is only natural that some practices and customs here would leave your mouth gaping in awe. But who says that they are wrong and we are right? The simple matter is that yes, Egyptians will do things that seem strange to my American self, but….I’m not in America anymore. And if you think how they are packing their trucks is safety hazards for everyone remotely close on the road, it’s time to get over it and embrace the fact that Egyptians have amazing packing skills. And if you think all microbus drivers come from a special place in hell just to terrorize the streets, realize that most Egyptians would agree with you. Egypt is beautifully different and unique in every way. And I have decided that embracing those differences will allow me to richly indulge in the uniqueness of Egypt, which is a better way to love my life here. Way better than constantly struggling to make Egypt fit into my previous paradigm of American life.

10. Wisdom does not amount to papers

I knew this would happen, I knew before I ever stepped a foot in Egypt that I would learn a lot when I came here. I just had no idea how deep and resounding these lessons would become. And I didn't realize how much I needed to learn these lessons.  But the funny thing is; these are not lessons that are ever written down anywhere. They are held in the relationships that you build with the people around you.

When I first met the woman pictured below, a large woman with a smile that lights up the room but a commanding presence that intimidates grown men; I saw in her face a deep wisdom that she had gathered from life. This woman is one of ten children who grew up in an old two bedroom apartment, educated only to high school, she married a kind farmer (Baba in my eyes) and has always lived in only two places in this world: her hometown and an even smaller village. You would think that this type of person would never accept someone like me. In fact, I expected the whole family to turn me any with the reputation that American media makes about American women. But in this family I found unflinching hospitality and love. And she teaches me, like my own mother would, how to be a better person. These are not lessons you get from any book. Life here in Egypt is about the lessons you get from the people every day. About the surprising knowledge you find in simply living life.

On Politics in Egypt

I should preface this whole entry with a disclaimer first. As a foreigner in Egypt, and especially as an American, I vowed far before I even put one toe on Egyptian soil that I would never talk politics. This is not my country; therefore it is not my place. But with the current political situation becoming what it is I thought it important to speak out a little bit about what it really is like here. Media does a really good job at making it look a certain way, and I know that for a lot of people on the other side of the world, they are being given a picture that is far from the truth. So, I apologize up front to Egyptians that read this and feel it is not an accurate depiction of what is happening in their country’s politics. This is humbly just a foreigner’s view on the way she sees it, nothing more.

With that being said, last week I ventured into the Fifth Settlement in Cairo (New Cairo some may call it). And what this really means is that I was transported into another world. Suddenly I traded the 18 story concrete apartments housing hundreds for vast gated villas designed just for one family. I traded local, family-owned kushary shops for McDonald’s, Chili’s and TGI Friday’s. I traded Al Azhar University for American University in Cairo. Basically, we had ventured into what didn’t even feel like Egypt anymore, it was a Little America. And as funny as it was to see a Chili’s in the middle of desert, I could not shake the deep feeling of sadness this sight gave me. Here my country was, always meddling in something.

(This is what Meeting Point Mall in New Cairo looks like- not to far those malls you see in Europe.)

But to me, this is what Cairo is REALLY like. 

So what does a Starbucks or Chili’s or a University for that matter have anything to do with politics in Egypt? It’s simple really- that Starbucks is only physical proof of the vast social hierarchy that runs at the core of Egyptian politics. The rich, those people that drive in their imported cars to their exported restaurants, are the ones that really have power in this country. They are the only ones that have a voice. And the average Egyptian, where are they? They are left to their silent struggle, simply trying to find ways to survive or buy bread.

So politics here are like a terrible math equation. Take one completely unstable former military government add one part “democracy” divide among masses representing all socioeconomic walks of life and you get- chaos. Any person following the international news on Egypt can get this. But what took me moving to Egypt to realize was the way it was being shown to the world through certain media outlets. Take the most current event; 529 Muslim Brotherhood supporters being sentenced to death. When you say Muslim Brotherhood in the West, what comes to mind for most is that icy term “terrorist”. But here, there is a multi-layered picture that comes under that term “Muslim Brotherhood”. It is not as black or white as it seems.

Like anything in Egypt, the Brotherhood is viewed in equal parts animosity and admiration. For one part, the Brotherhood represents the original revolution that happened in 2011. This revolution seems to be the “pure revolution” to Egyptians. When asked about it, people seem like they are suddenly reminiscing with you about the beautiful fellowship and unity that was created long ago. This is when people will speak fondly of the Brotherhood, or all the political or religious parties that were involved for that matter (because there were many). But when you fast forward to last year, it suddenly becomes disastrous. The revolution simply lost itself. And all those parties became dissatisfied with each other. And this is when you start to see the revolution splinter into a thousand pieces. Now you get political groups rising, like Rab3a.

(The logo for Rab3a, you will see this spray-painted on walls all over the place)

Now Rab3a (pronounced Raba), in international media, has had this strange connection to the Brotherhood (and therefore terrorists) to some. However, here in Egypt, it clearly just defines what you think of Sisi and the coup. Generally, people who support Rab3a do not support Sisi (obvious), but most importantly (this is part that seems to be overlooked by a lot of people) this does not mean they support the Brotherhood. Like I said, it is not so black and white. Rab3a supporters are those that support the true process of democracy. So you will see them supporting Morsi in protests, but not necessarily because he is from the Brotherhood. What they are supporting is the fact that he was fairly voted into office by the democratic process involving most of the Egyptian population in the 2012 elections. To them, Morsi was the true elected leader and they want to get that process back.

And meanwhile, Sisi and the military powers that be, are doing a splendid job of controlling media and gathering support from the bottom up. It’s a pretty surreal site to walk through some of the poorest areas in Egypt and see banners of Sisi, “The Lion of Egypt” as he is now called, plastered patriotically over every nook and cranny. The very people, who at one time fought vigorously for democracy and a voice, now are simply wishing for “stability”. And when you hear someone say that word, it means they have watched enough TV to believe that the military will bring stability to the country. And maybe it will, but to those who are among the educated groups of Egypt, you find them still going to squares to protest. There must be some significance in that.

And to add fuel to the fire, you have elections coming up. And of course you get Sisi nobly hanging up his uniform to run for President (and save this poor country) in the “fair and democratic” process that these elections are advertised to be. Oh thank you Sisi, how kind of you! This is the same regime that treated those 529 Brotherhood supporters so fairly when sentencing them to death: “Of the 529 sentenced on Monday, only 153 are in custody. The rest were tried in their absence and have the right to a retrial if they turn themselves in. Another 17 defendants were acquitted." (Source: Aljazeera).

So, this is the political concoction that is Egypt. It is difficult to watch Egypt struggle with itself because despite what all Egyptians may disagree on, one thing they have in common is a passionate love and a wish for good intention in their country. Not sure what is to come next, but I am certain that it may get worse before it gets better. My prayer continuously for Egypt is that it becomes a country that treats its people fairly and humanely and listens to what its countrymen say. Insha’allah Egypt will be this one day. 

Life in Masr Thus Far

I started writing this around 7 pm yesterday, which means that the evening call to prayer happened at any moment. This beautiful call always strikes me, and I stop whatever I am doing to look around me and see how people react. Sometimes they act as though they never even heard it, or you see that they were prepared as they hurry dutifully to the mosque on the nearest corner (and there really is one on every corner). And when it is done, the city takes a breath for a second before it goes back to its honking and shouting. But right now, the air still feels like it is buzzing as night descends on the Victorious City and I can’t help but have a surreal moment in realizing that finally, this is real. And as I sit on my balcony, hair covered fully with a hijab (a style I have adopted for about a week straight now), I realize that I really am worlds away from where I once was. 

There is no other way to put it lightly- Egypt is hard.

This doesn't come as a surprise to me at all; in fact, two weeks ago I welcomed it. But I am sure now that I had forgotten what it feels like to be challenged. I prepared as much as one can before I came; I read books, I watched movies, I asked friends, I dreamed about this for months. But nothing quite compares to that moment when you first walk out that airport door and see the vast reality of your situation. And the situation is that I am not a tourist and this is my new life.

As much as I prepared, I wish I could have taken into more consideration the sheer amount of help in reality I needed. I came to Egypt with some pretty huge assumptions in my head that I would be able to do a lot of things by myself, big things like find an apartment or a job. I took pride in being more than just a tourist, and I came with this determination within me that I was certain I would figure it all out on my own. Quickly did I realize there was a completely different course unfolding before me. And part of me hates to admit to the struggles I am having, because after all, I am Ms. World-traveler, but I cannot deny my own humanity. And I am learning that are extremely grand values in struggling.

This struggle comes down to a realization I am having; I am truly helpless here. From walking down the street to buying eggs, I am at a total loss. And even in wearing as possible layers as a person could, I still cannot escape stares, cat-calls, and salespeople. I stopped eating because I forgot how to shop; the souqs introduce a new shopping system at which I am clueless in navigating. And it is continuously a tale of getting lost because I would not be caught dead in downtown Cairo with a map. My skin and eye color scream tourist enough as it is. I can hardly do basic things like take a bus let alone crucial things like find a job.

But, thank god for the insurmountable kindness of Egyptians. Despite my utter helplessness, I have survived up to this point, and I am sitting proudly on the balcony of my own place with food enough to survive and have been patiently taught all the ins and outs of taking a microbus (and still trying to get the hang of that one). And the only reason I am not in some ditch somewhere or on a plane back to the US is because I have some pretty fantastic people looking out for me. I think this could even count as a season of life for me; because two weeks ago I was Ms. Capable and Independent and now a three year old Egyptian child is more independent than I am. I am learning to humbly accept help, I am learning to ask questions, and be more fearless and bold. And I am learning that I am imperfect, but in this world there are always those that come alongside you in your time of need. It is a beautiful lesson, but not an easy one to take.

Sometimes I feel like I am going forward, that I achieved something or figured it out. But being in a place like Cairo, I have only figured out that I should get rid of that assumption. Cairo changes from one second to the next, you never know what will be around the corner. So maybe by the end of this year I will know how to cross the street or buy an orange, but I am not holding my breath hoping for it.

But don’t worry; now I will tell you all the good things I have done too, and trust me there are lots of them. Naturally I went to the Great Pyramids of Giza. It would have been an incredible time had tourism not been in a persistent state of drought for the last year or so. People are desperate, and with pale skin like mine I seem to have magnetic qualities. But, I can scratch the oldest world wonder off my list. And it was breath-taking. And while we were there, with the Giza Governorate kissing the border of the site, Egyptian school children were busy climbing up and down stones thousands of years old and taking pictures in their Levi Jeans and Nikes. It felt like some kind of strange alternate reality.

I have wandered through countless terrains of Cairo. Maadi, Coptic Cairo, Islamic Cairo, Nasr City, Tura….and I have only just started. Every district, every Governorate, every block of apartments even has their own atmosphere. And this city, man, it’s huge. People are stacked on top of each other and this goes for miles out into the desert surrounding.  I think they should change the saying from: “New York- if you can make it here you can make it anywhere” to “Cairo- if you can make it here, you win, for all time.” Insha’allah I will be able to boast that say confidently soon.

I have been to countless mosques, steeped in beautiful architecture and a peaceful calmness that is irresistible in a city constantly in chaos. I have been welcomed with open arms into homes and had the treat of seeing Cairenes let their hair down (literally) and feel like one of the family. I have been charmed and sensory-overloaded on the streets of souqs far older than the stock market. I have walked on the same ground that revolutionaries have spilled their own blood on in dying for a cause they believe in. I have been inspired as they tell me for themselves what they think of their country, reminding me patiently that if anyone ever heard them say this they would be detained and I would never see them again. 

Beside the Egyptian Museum in Tahrir Square

I prayed my first Friday prayer in a mosque and was lovingly shown the way to perform every gesture and where to stand. A lovely thing in Islamic prayer especially when in a mosque is that it is not right to stand in the back of the room like I tried to do. You are pulled right into the line and people always come alongside you. I have moved to an area full of Indonesian, Malaysian and Somali students or migrants. Though, maybe in the middle of nowhere when considering Cairo, it makes me smile because it also kind of feels like home with some many different faces around me. I have eaten foods so incredibly good that I wish I could eat them everyday (i.e. something called hawawshi- the equivalent of an Egyptian hot pocket) but lucky for me I have no idea where this is in my neighborhood….yet.

(So good, so so good.)

But the coolest thing that has happened thus far is that I have collected a group of grand people that take such good care of me without me having to even ask. One day, when I was sitting in my hostel’s lobby after a pretty good cry and feeling pretty sorry for myself, a friend invited me to stay with his wife and his family. And then as relief washed over me, he said, “Don’t worry, when you are a good person Allah sends you good people to be with you.” And lately, that saying has only proven to be absolutely true. I do not know yet how I can express my thanks to everyone that has helped me thus far, but it makes me speechless when I think about it.

So Egypt- I still have lots to learn and lots to do with you. And you have broken and challenged me in the best ways possible, but even though you are tough, you also have loved me so well. So….the story goes on.

And for fun....here is what a hijab-ed Sarah looks like