It's been a month since I have been in Europe. Well, almost. I have been thinking a lot about what I would say on this blog. Thinking about what my final closing statement would be concerning all the experiences I had, about all the things I learned. I meant to do this within the first week I got back. Then that week turned into two, sped right into three and landed me right here at one month. It still takes the breath from me to think that a month ago I was thousands of miles from the place I am standing now. It feels so incredibly far away already, and maybe this what is making me the most sad right now. But I have been putting this post off because I am slowly realizing that it is impossible to explain the impact that this has had on my life. There simply are not words for what this experience has been and all it has taught me. I miss Lithuania and Europe a lot right now, and I understand that this grieving is simply a season, but my heart still longs to be out there.
Yet, there are so many reasons why I am so happy to be home.
You see, it is this conflict that is making me feel more torn than at peace. I have so many reasons to be happy in both places that I have lived life in this world. So, I decided instead of trying to list all the things that I miss already from Europe (because there are lots and why be negative?), I will begin trying to process what lessons or eye-opening enlightenments I have been blessed with through this journey. These are some of the most important things or gifts I am still trying to keep and think about from my time abroad. These are sacred things that I hope I always carry with me in my life. They are reminders from my first step into the world.
1. I see my country completely different; I have a whole new perspective on who Americans are, what we stand for and the motives of our actions. Now I better sympathize with those who live on an outsiders perspective. And this makes me understand my country in a different and wider spectrum than before.
2. I see the world differently. I had stereotypes and misconceptions that I started this journey with, many of them have been totally shattered by the experience.
3. I have new dreams. Getting to Europe was my biggest dream; I put all my time, effort, and finances to achieving it. And I am so blessed to say that I was able to accomplish it. But now, I have to continue looking forward, but Europe has given me new vision in which to do that with. I have to move forward and I have to see more.
4. People are magnificently wonderful and family is created everywhere. No matter where I went; deep and significant connections were made. And it is not because of any action I did, it was because people were beautiful enough to outreach to me. This is one of the most important gifts I have ever been given, because these relationships were what allowed me to survive in that foreign place. It restored and challenged all that I knew in humanity. We are beautiful to each other; my friends and family have proven it.
5. Experience is more necessary than knowledge. I am paying for a very high education, and it has indeed taught me many things. But nothing has compared to being thrown into a new culture and having to learn everything from the ground up. This is what I think has taught me the most, this experience made my mind explode.
6. Love means action. I think it is a simple concept, but I was never fully practicing or understanding it. Maybe I was even afraid of it. Love in action has shattered my heart (in a good way) and it had given me lots of amazing connections. It is something that needs no translation either. I want this to be a practice in my life, no matter where I find myself.
7. Acknowledgment brings peace. I was lucky enough to be given this journey, but that is because I am blessed with family and friends who deeply support and believe in me. I took this for granted and I never fully understood how powerful and needed that support is. And I should learn to say thank you more and acknowledge those around me more, because they are important.
8. Sincerity is golden. Americans are seen as fake, shallow, selfish, and careless. And often times we prove this to be true to the world by how little we act real with them; for example, can a person tell you really how they are when you ask? No, they have to say "fine" even if they are not. The world does not understand this about our culture and it makes them find us untrustworthy. I have to remind myself to slow down and open my heart and ears more to those around me. Their trust in me is more important than my tasks.
9. Other cultures and stories are beautiful. I have so much appreciation for all the differences and experiences that make us beautiful. I want to discover more and learn more about those from all different kinds of places. There is something good to be learned from every single one.
10. There is more to learn, always. I fully believe in the statement that "The more I learn, the less I know." It is not right to embrace apathy towards learning, it is better to always ask questions and try to fill your days with constructive and intentional seeking. I want to try to learn more about all the things I love or care about. Learn more about cultures, art, history, philosophy, music, religion, and humanity. There is more value in a life spent learning and exploring, than a life spent numb and fearful.
So, this is the start of the processing of an utterly life-changing event. I can't say that I have it figured out at all right now but I wanted to at least thank those that helped me through it all. My mother and father deserve so much thanks because without them and their unending support for me, this would have never come true. My brother and my nephew, Jacob, for loving me after all. Arri for her patience, unconditional love and inspiration, Carolin for opening my mind the most, Kim for breaking the ice and starting the adventure, Melanie for challenging me, Dora for laughing and dancing with me, and Yusuf for being the best brother a girl could have. And there are countless numbers of people in the Erasmus program and all over Europe who taught me all about kindness and openness, thank you for loving me and giving me a family when I was so far away from mine.
So where does my adventure take me next?
And indeed the adventures have not stopped. I am taking part in an intentional community called the Farr House. This is a community seeking to outreach to the many cultures and groups represented in my university town, Greeley. We are intending to create connections and better understanding of those who are around us. It is a home created by 8 very different people living together in an 100 year old house. It is named after the Farr family, which was a family that was extremely important to the water laws of Greeley. I am excited for what this family stands for and what they are trying to do in the community.
I am also going to be the ambassador (or mentor for those of you who did Erasmus with me) for two Thai students named Denis and Soria. I have already met them and I feel so lucky for my chance to be their ambassador, they have already taught me so much about Thai culture and people. This will be a fun journey to explore the US with them. They are already talking about starting UNC's very own Thai club, road-tripping and camping! And they even have given me a Thai nickname, Khaw, I am honored and thrilled! I am so eager to join in on the international community that is here in Greeley, I cannot wait to become friends with people from all over the world and learn even more from them.
School is starting in about two weeks, and it is my senior year. I can't believe I will be graduating this year! So now I am looking in grad schools and hoping to find a good one to get me back to Europe...
So there is your catch up to the story. And I wanted to give a big thanks to you, my readers. Thank you for following me all this way or just picking up on the adventure now. Your support has meant a lot to me!
Without further ado, some images of the return and we will chat again soon!
Yet, there are so many reasons why I am so happy to be home.
You see, it is this conflict that is making me feel more torn than at peace. I have so many reasons to be happy in both places that I have lived life in this world. So, I decided instead of trying to list all the things that I miss already from Europe (because there are lots and why be negative?), I will begin trying to process what lessons or eye-opening enlightenments I have been blessed with through this journey. These are some of the most important things or gifts I am still trying to keep and think about from my time abroad. These are sacred things that I hope I always carry with me in my life. They are reminders from my first step into the world.
1. I see my country completely different; I have a whole new perspective on who Americans are, what we stand for and the motives of our actions. Now I better sympathize with those who live on an outsiders perspective. And this makes me understand my country in a different and wider spectrum than before.
2. I see the world differently. I had stereotypes and misconceptions that I started this journey with, many of them have been totally shattered by the experience.
3. I have new dreams. Getting to Europe was my biggest dream; I put all my time, effort, and finances to achieving it. And I am so blessed to say that I was able to accomplish it. But now, I have to continue looking forward, but Europe has given me new vision in which to do that with. I have to move forward and I have to see more.
4. People are magnificently wonderful and family is created everywhere. No matter where I went; deep and significant connections were made. And it is not because of any action I did, it was because people were beautiful enough to outreach to me. This is one of the most important gifts I have ever been given, because these relationships were what allowed me to survive in that foreign place. It restored and challenged all that I knew in humanity. We are beautiful to each other; my friends and family have proven it.
5. Experience is more necessary than knowledge. I am paying for a very high education, and it has indeed taught me many things. But nothing has compared to being thrown into a new culture and having to learn everything from the ground up. This is what I think has taught me the most, this experience made my mind explode.
6. Love means action. I think it is a simple concept, but I was never fully practicing or understanding it. Maybe I was even afraid of it. Love in action has shattered my heart (in a good way) and it had given me lots of amazing connections. It is something that needs no translation either. I want this to be a practice in my life, no matter where I find myself.
7. Acknowledgment brings peace. I was lucky enough to be given this journey, but that is because I am blessed with family and friends who deeply support and believe in me. I took this for granted and I never fully understood how powerful and needed that support is. And I should learn to say thank you more and acknowledge those around me more, because they are important.
8. Sincerity is golden. Americans are seen as fake, shallow, selfish, and careless. And often times we prove this to be true to the world by how little we act real with them; for example, can a person tell you really how they are when you ask? No, they have to say "fine" even if they are not. The world does not understand this about our culture and it makes them find us untrustworthy. I have to remind myself to slow down and open my heart and ears more to those around me. Their trust in me is more important than my tasks.
9. Other cultures and stories are beautiful. I have so much appreciation for all the differences and experiences that make us beautiful. I want to discover more and learn more about those from all different kinds of places. There is something good to be learned from every single one.
10. There is more to learn, always. I fully believe in the statement that "The more I learn, the less I know." It is not right to embrace apathy towards learning, it is better to always ask questions and try to fill your days with constructive and intentional seeking. I want to try to learn more about all the things I love or care about. Learn more about cultures, art, history, philosophy, music, religion, and humanity. There is more value in a life spent learning and exploring, than a life spent numb and fearful.
So, this is the start of the processing of an utterly life-changing event. I can't say that I have it figured out at all right now but I wanted to at least thank those that helped me through it all. My mother and father deserve so much thanks because without them and their unending support for me, this would have never come true. My brother and my nephew, Jacob, for loving me after all. Arri for her patience, unconditional love and inspiration, Carolin for opening my mind the most, Kim for breaking the ice and starting the adventure, Melanie for challenging me, Dora for laughing and dancing with me, and Yusuf for being the best brother a girl could have. And there are countless numbers of people in the Erasmus program and all over Europe who taught me all about kindness and openness, thank you for loving me and giving me a family when I was so far away from mine.
So where does my adventure take me next?
And indeed the adventures have not stopped. I am taking part in an intentional community called the Farr House. This is a community seeking to outreach to the many cultures and groups represented in my university town, Greeley. We are intending to create connections and better understanding of those who are around us. It is a home created by 8 very different people living together in an 100 year old house. It is named after the Farr family, which was a family that was extremely important to the water laws of Greeley. I am excited for what this family stands for and what they are trying to do in the community.
I am also going to be the ambassador (or mentor for those of you who did Erasmus with me) for two Thai students named Denis and Soria. I have already met them and I feel so lucky for my chance to be their ambassador, they have already taught me so much about Thai culture and people. This will be a fun journey to explore the US with them. They are already talking about starting UNC's very own Thai club, road-tripping and camping! And they even have given me a Thai nickname, Khaw, I am honored and thrilled! I am so eager to join in on the international community that is here in Greeley, I cannot wait to become friends with people from all over the world and learn even more from them.
School is starting in about two weeks, and it is my senior year. I can't believe I will be graduating this year! So now I am looking in grad schools and hoping to find a good one to get me back to Europe...
So there is your catch up to the story. And I wanted to give a big thanks to you, my readers. Thank you for following me all this way or just picking up on the adventure now. Your support has meant a lot to me!
Without further ado, some images of the return and we will chat again soon!
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